Cold Outside
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Phyllis/Billy


"I know. I know." He sighed heavily as he listened to her words. "I hear you, Vic. I'm almost home … literally maybe three minutes."

"You should have never even been out." She ran her hand through her hair as she pushed her chair closer to the small hotel room desk. "You knew the weather was going to be bad. The were reporting about it all the way here in Boston. Why were you even …"

"Vic, Just let me get home and I'll call you later, okay?"

It was her turn to sigh now. "Fine," she huffed. "The kids are staying over at Nick's tonight. I already talked to him. He's not going to try to bring them home in this mess so you don't' have to worry about that."

"Okay." He leaned forwards to swipe his hand against the inside of the foggy windshield. Even though he'd never admit to her, he was beginning to question his own decision to go into work today. It was getting harder and harder to see even mere inches in front of him. "I'll talk to you later, Vic."

The blowing snow mixed with sleet continued to pelt the windshield as he slowed to a virtual crawl. In the distance, he could hear the wail of sirens, a sure sign that many other were not as fortunate as he was tonight. The road beneath was already beginning to ice over and he could feel the tires slip and slide as he struggled to maintain control. He hugged the side of the road, afraid of other unfortunate souls that might have unwisely ventured out today.

The blaring of the horn brought his heart to his throat and he slammed on the brakes hard, sending the car skidding off into the grassy dirt. "Jesus," he hissed. The white puffs of breath led the way as he carefully stepped out of the car. "What kind of idiot is sitting here with no headlights on?"

He rapped on the window with his gloved hand and felt his heart drop as he watched the door slowly crack instead.

"What the?"

"Phyllis?" He stepped back so suddenly that the ice beneath his feet almost sent him flying backwards. "What are you?" The questions all flooded into his brain at once, overloading his psyche and forcing him to stand in silence for a moment. "I almost hit you," he finally managed.

"No kidding," she spat. "That's why I sat on the horn. You were practically driving off the road."

"I was trying to avoid people that might be coming from the opposite direction, but …" He stopped himself. Arguing with her had always been a futile endeavor. "Do you know how insane it is to be sitting here without any kind of lights on? You're going to get yourself killed."

"Like you give a damn." She moved to pull the door closed again.

He shoved his foot in front to block her. "You need to put your flashers on," he said solemnly. "I'm serious."

"Don't you think I've got enough sense to know that?"

"Well." He pointed to the lifeless car shrouded in darkness.

"It's dead." Her bad luck continued to astound her. "I don't know what happened. When I left the office, it started kind of sluggish, but I thought it would get me back to the club and … well …"

"Did you call someone? A tow or something?"

"No, I thought I'd just camp out her for the night." She rolled her eyes as she saw the frustrated look on his face. "Of course I called. Can you not hear all the sirens around here. It's going to be hours before they can get to me. They've got accidents all over the place. People are hurt. They've got to get to them first."

"So what? You're gonna sit out here and wait."

"I was doing just fine until some fool tried to run my car into the ravine."

"You can't just sit out here like this. It's freezing and the weather's terrible." He took a long look at her, the feeling already stirring inside. The cold air had already begun to bring color to her cheeks. He could see her trembling slightly and he nearly gave in to the impulse to wrap his arms around her. No matter what happened between them, the pull was still there. "Come on." He held out his gloved to her.

She stilled, her eyes widening. "What?"

"Come back to the house. You can wait there until they can come tow the car."

"Billy, I'm not coming back to your place with you. I'll be fine here and …"

"I can't just leave you out here. What kind of person would do something like that?" Even in the darkness, he could see her eyes flash and he knew what she was thinking. _The same kind of person that would sleep with my daughter. _"I know there are probably a million places you'd rather spend your night, but you gotta admit, it's better to be at my place than sitting out here on the side of the road, isn't it?" He waited for a moment. "Isn't it?"

She pushed the door further open and slowly began to climb out of the car.

* * *

"Watch it on the doorstep." He reached for her hand as she gingerly stepped over the threshold and into the house.

"Thanks," she muttered as she felt the warmth of the house rush through her.

"Your hands are freezing." He said the words as he laced his fingertips with hers – a sort of muscle memory, natural, instinctual.

It was only her reaction that brought him back to reality. "I should call AAA again and let the know where I am."

"Yeah." He cleared his throat as he watched her walk into the room. "I'll make us some tea and bump up the thermostat."

She waited until he'd left the room to let her shoulders fall. Being here, being in this room again had immediately brought it all back. It was a living, breathing memory, a Pandora's box of firsts, first kisses, first truths, first …"

"I got this new fancy … Oh God …" The mug fell from his hand and shattered as it hit the floor. He watched as she clawed at her now soaked shirt. "Let me help … Here." He grabbed the throw from the back of the couch and tossed it to her.

Her blouse already hung unbuttoned and, as it fell to the floor, he helped her wrap the throw around her and tried not to stare. "Are you okay?" He forced himself to step back, needing the distance.

"I think so, yeah. It was just … kind of a shock. I …" Her eyes met his finally and the awkwardness set in. "I should probably …"

"I can get you something to wear," he said quickly. "Just hang on a minute."

* * *

He stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. The sound of pulsing blood echoed through his ears. They were supposed to be over. He was supposed to be angry with her. She had cheated on him. She had lied to him. She had driven him to do horrible things. And she still had his heart in the palm of her hand. It was crazy. She was crazy. They were crazy. They always had been. And God did he miss it. His eyes scanned the clothes hanging in the closet and he grabbed one and quickly headed down the stairs.

"One of my favorites," he said with a smile as he handed it to her.

"Thanks." She held it in her hand and looked up at him, a slight smile playing on her face.

"What? You don't like it?"

"The shirt's fine, Billy, but … I … Aren't you going to turn around so I can put it on?"

"Oh. Of course. Yeah." His face flushed again, with both embarrassment and desire. He turned and waited, listening intently as her nails lightly tipped against the buttons.

"Okay, I'm good. You can turn around now."

He smiled as he looked at her, his mind immediately rushing back to all the other times he'd seen her wearing his shirt. "It looks good on you," he said quietly. "You always have looked better in my clothes than I do. It's kind of unfair."

"Sorry." She walked to the sofa and sat down slowly. "I feel like that's pretty much all we ever say to each other now."

"It's hasn't been our finest hour, that's for sure." He could feel the mood shifting, the bitterness and awkwardness that wriggled its way into so many of their conversations threating to overtake this one as well. "Why don't I try that tea again?"

"I'm really okay," she said quickly. "You don't have to worry about that. It's really warming up in here." She looked around the room. "I've always really loved this place, you know. I'm kind of surprised …" She let the words trail off.

"By what?"

"That you haven't moved Victoria and the kids here. I know you two are trying to make things work, so I figured you two would be living together by now and …"

"We're taking things really slow this time. I'm not sure what'll happen, when it'll happen, or even if it'll happen with us, but we're putting the kids first and that's what's most important. I think we both know what we want but we both have a lot of doubts if we can be that for each other."

She nodded. "That's half the battle I think … knowing what you want." She turned to towards him. "What do you want, Billy?"

"I want to be able to be me without conditions, without apologies, without contingencies."

"That's the dream." Her words were almost a whisper as she let her body relax a bit.

"It wasn't a dream though, was it? We had that. You let me be exactly who I was. You accepted me with all my flaws, with all my insecurities, will all my demons."

"I did. But that was because I never thought your demons would hurt me."

"I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that and I know that it doesn't matter. I know that no words I ever say will ever come close to making up for that or for explaining that. I just … I was so hurt and so angry and I felt so betrayed … I just wanted to lash out and …" He could see the tears in her eyes, the pain still there, so visceral. "You were the person that I thought I could trust more than anyone and when I realized that I wasn't enough for you, that even as much as I loved you and as much as I tried, I still wasn't enough …"

"You were enough. You were always enough. What happened with Nick was never about me not loving you. It was about me being afraid. I loved you so much, Billy. I loved our life and what we had and I was beginning to let myself believe that it really could be forever and then I find out that you're gambling and I thought you had to be missing something. You had to be searching for something, something that I wasn't giving you. Someone that's truly happy doesn't go out gambling like that, not when they know how destructive it can be, not when they've been through what you have. So, I was afraid. I was afraid that I was going to lose you and when I'm afraid … I do stupid things." She met his gaze for a moment. "Maybe like the things you do when you get hurt, when you feel betrayed."

"Maybe."

Silence settled over the room for a moment.

"Phyllis," he finally said, "I …"

The cheerful chirping of her phone interrupted the moment and she stood and quickly followed the noise. "Sorry," she said as she looked down at the screen. "It's the tow truck. I should answer it."

* * *

The words raced through his head as he tried to rehearse the right words. What could he say that might not send her fleeing off into the night? How could he explain how badly he wanted this to work? How much he needed another chance? How hard he would try to prove that he'd be better this time? They'd be better.

"They're on their way," she said, her voice making him startle. "They're just going to take the car to the shop so they can replace the battery. I'll call a car and head on to the Club."

"You don't have to do that now though, right?" His heart began to race again.

"Well, I probably should. I mean, there's no real reason for me to stay here any longer."

"It's freezing out there. The roads aren't safe. There's no reason to chance it especially when you're more than welcome to stay here."

She smiled slightly. "I doubt very much that Victoria would feel that way."

"Victoria and I aren't in that kind of a relationship," he said honestly. "She doesn't get a vote in this."

"So who does?"

"We're the only two here. There's only you and me in this." He smiled as he said the words, their meaning an intentional throwback that he wasn't sure she'd recognize. The sparkle in her eyes as her lips curved into a smile proved he never should have doubted her.

"I've heard that before," she said quietly. "A lot of people would disagree with that. There's gonna be a lot of talk if …"

"Don't me Phyllis Summers is worried about winning a popularity contest now?"

"I'm being serious, Billy. It would be really easy to let my heart decide here, but my head is …"

"Scared."

Her head dropped at bit.

"And I know that you hate that word. I know that you hate being scared more than anything in the world. I know that being scared makes you act out because it makes you feel out of control. I get it, but I promise you, you don't need to be scared of giving me a chance. I know what I lost when I lost you. I've lived it and I never want to live it again. Your heart knows what it wants, just give me a chance to prove it's right."

She still held the phone in her hand. She should be calling the car. She should be going to the Club. Her head screamed for her heart to shut and up.

And then there were his eyes. She remembered the way they filled with compassion as she'd told him her deepest, darkest thoughts. He was the only one who understood her during the most difficult time of her life. He saved her in the truest sense of the word.

There were his arms, the same arms that had held her as she sobbed, pulled her close as she'd almost come undone, and spun her around and around in absolute bliss.

His lips had kissed her, whispered her name, promised her so many things, stood up for her. They'd also lied to her and spewed hateful words.

But above all, there was his heart. He loved her. He always had. Even when he said hurtful things, even when he did heinous ones. When he lied, when he cheated, when he couldn't open up, when he didn't … It never changed his heart.

And it never changed hers.

"Don't leave." His voice broke the silence again, the slight tremble betraying his emotion. "I know I don't deserve a chance, but I'm asking you for one."

"I guess it make sense."

"What does?"

"That we're here – tonight, in the middle of a storm. I mean, this is how it started , right?"

He felt his heart fall. "This doesn't have to be how it ends though. Phyllis …" He moved towards her, desperation now setting in. "Please just …"

"This should be how it starts again."

Relief. "Wait? You mean, you're saying …"

The obvious joy in his eyes made her smile. "I'm saying I'm going to trust my heart on this one and I'm going to trust you … even if it scares the hell out of me …"

"You know what scares the hell out of me?"

She nodded as she felt his fingertips trail through her hair. "What?" she whispered.

"The thought of losing you and I promise you that I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you never have a reason to walk away from me again."

Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips pressed against hers. The feel of his heart beating was strong as she let her hands run down his chest. "I guess it would be okay if I just stayed here for now," she whispered, "but I don't have a change of clothes or …"

"I don't think that'll be a problem," he grinned as he lifted her off her feet and headed for the stairs.


End file.
